Santa Dash & Christmas Bash

Today saw the final entry to this purple year with a quick 2 lap jaunt around Prospect Park, something I'd have been truly dreading a couple of years back but managed this time with a lot less exhaustion thanks to a certain level of fitness i'm somehow managing to attain. The run was on behalf of the British Heart Foundation and the turnout reminded me of the Reading Rush which didn't happen, not great. As the race was to be a 'Santa Dash' I was expecting a sea of red and white at the start but was greeted by no more than 150 I reckon. The suit provided would have fitted Hulk Hogan, laying to rest any fears I had of another Austin Powers incident with a suit designed for a 12 year old.

After a couple of awkward minutes doing warm-ups (You do feel quite stupid doing star jumps dressed as Saint Nick) We lined up ready to start. The starter and the Lady Mayoress were both drowned out by the weather which was beginning to close in nicely. Off we went. The elite runners or 'show offs' as we liked to call them raced off ahead while the rest of us mixed jogging with costume adjustment. Every other stride seemed to involve tucking the jacket in, pulling up the trousers or picking the fake beard's cotton wool out of your mouth but for only £10 all in, no one was too bothered. It's hard to say where I came overall but I wasn't too bothered, a few of the runners went hardcore and went on the third lap but 2 laps was enough for me and most people. At the finish I was greeted by two chuffed looking parents, a bottle of water and an unexpected finishers medal. Unexpected but along with all the others received so far, greatly treasured.

A quick message on my Christmas works party at the Calcot Hotel. This was the first year I'd helped organise one and I have to say it was a very mixed experience. I never dreamt it would be so time confusing convincing a group of people to got out at Christmas to enjoy themselves. Complaints about cost, location, timing and seating started to take their toll near the end. I'm surprised certain teachers dared challenge their students on forgetting homework or equipment when it took them 4 attempts to bring their deposit money in. In the end though, none of it mattered. Not the constant changes in the seating plan, not the method of using the drinks vouchers not even the crowded reception area we all had to stand in before the dinner. The evening had been a success, in spades. As co-organiser, my responsibility hadn't ended at the booking stage. I felt responsible for everyone's happiness in the party, making damn sure everyone was having a good time. The picture below is one of my favourites of the year. The 3 people who had made the party happen, a look of true contentment and satisfaction at a job well done.

Rossifer x

The countdown begins

No turning back now, the registration payment has been made and the date is set. Saturday 27th April 2013, a date where if all is well, I'll be embarking on what will hopefully rank as the greatest experience of my life. Between now and then it'll be 515 days of saving, training, sponsorships and a shed load of vaccinations. The two added bonuses will be if I can raise a warehouse load of cash in sponsorship for MNDA and if my cousin Sharon can join me for what will be, until I meet the love of my life and become a father, life affirming perfection. The 4 pictures to the left are a taster of what is to come. When the journey is complete, the details of which will undoubtedly make Tolstoy's 'War and Peace' look like a mere pamphlet, with enough photo highlights to fill Narnia.

Rossifer x

Once more unto the breach dear friends

Had to wait long enough to get actual pictures of the SOTF race, plus they cost a bit! Only 4 to choose from but I love this one, close to the end of the race where everyone had to slide down a steep quarterpipe on your heels and bum. Trying to get a team of people next time to have a go with me as I enjoyed it that much, hoping the same people will join in on the 19th May on the Soldiers Challenge.

I'm already looking forward to next year even though i've now come to terms I won't be going to Machu Picchu for at least another year. I was only disappointed for a while as I know the reason it wasn't possible, simply the Purple Book. If it's a choice between the life i've chosen to live and a one off experience then it's no contest, Peru can wait.

Rossifer x

Survival of the thinnest

One of those entries that I was part dreading but mainly looking forward to was the Survival of the Fittest, an event I stumbled upon on Facebook which would involve a fair amount of the jogging but plenty more besides. SOTF promised a 10km jog with a variety of different obstacles on route set in and around the derelict remains of Battersea power station. The setting alone was enough to snag me in but the obstacles were what sealed it, offering something completely different to the boredom of a simple long distance race. They would also end up bringing out the best in me as I was to soon find myself in my element. The SOTF website listed some of the obstacles that would be included and offered training techniques on how to handle them. I can tell you know there's not a lot of prep work you can do for things like climbing through derelict cars or skips full of water but i'll come back to that later...

As usual I left preparations to the last minute having only a single 2 mile training run before hand. This was confounded by the fact I rather predictably fell ill with a cold a week before, with the knowledge I would be doing the event with the same affliction. This didn't do much to harmonise the demons I feel towards my body I gotta say! Come race day though I felt well enough to eat, drink and move so I'd be giving it a shot. After several kilometres and plenty of obstacles on route SUCCESS, i'd made it out of Paddington and my way to Battersea! I followed a group of people who looked like they'd taken the easy option and 'trained' and stuff and had all the right gear, I felt like a pro just for remembering my top from the half marathon last year! I'd also risked my jogging shoes getting ruined over the casuals to give me an extra chance, not knowing if i'd ever be able to use them again like La Tomatina with my sky diving shoes.

I'd made the registration in plenty of time, 11:15 ish for 1:00pm start. The race was due to have 7000 entrants in 20 bands of 350, over a 1000 of these though would end up not making it, quite a shocking percentage methinks. I'd be running in band 13 with the other gold wrist band wearers. The band came with the timing chip, race number and a very cool t-shirt which i'd be wearing after the race. Each bands started in 15 minute intervals so I was watching everyone at the start and finish of their ordeal as both ended up next door to each other, the final obstacle there at the start for all to see.

Battersea power station loomed in the background, despite being derelict for ages it still looks so impressive, and we'd be going inside it for part of the race. It came to a few

minutes before and the gold group started our warm up. My Kung Fu training at least taught me how to warm up like I knew what I was doing there. I had my top with 'wicking fabric' on, waterproof trousers (which were pointless in the end) and proper jogging shoes as well as some padded gloves so I felt ready for anything. We walk up to the start line and everyone starts looking nervous...

The countdown goes down from 10, and we're off. Quick corner up to the first obstacle, the hay bales. This would be the first of many that I seemed to be perfectly built for. Despite cursing my body many a time, I and light weight, strong enough to weight said weight and stupidly tall and so perfect at lifting myself over such things. After that a quick jog to the next set of obstacles. A 5 foot metal wall, some over things and the first of many monkey bars. One though crossed my mind, don't start walking while there's a crowd but despite the cold, everything felt OK.

I can't remember the order of all the obstacles but I certainly remember the most memorable and the hardest to conquer. The hardest was simply the jogging. For the absent minded, I still hate jogging, passionately! The section between 2km and 4km had the longest sections of jogging and took the most out of me. Like I said earlier, the obstacles not only suited my build to a large extent but gave a break from all the jogging. 3km saw the first time of getting out feet wet. Not nice! The water seemed to get gradually deeper from the knee high water on the steeplechase track, to the skip full of water later on. The course would also see us going over fences, through tunnels, over A frames, under cargo nets, through inflatable obstacle courses, down slopes, crawling through ice, then mud, getting cleaned off by a fire hose and of course exclusive access to Battersea power station itself. We all had to wear hard hats and in the second of two sections inside had to carry a sandbag up and down a dusty section of the building. After climbing through some derelict cars (in the boot and through the windscreen) and a few wooden ramps, we all knew what was to face us at the end. The 'Wall of Fame' was the final obstacle only yards away from the finish line. I had thoughts of trying to scale it in one go but remembered all the times around the course people had cheered me on when I was finding it tricky and i wasn't about to finish without giving something back. I gave a lady a boost up to get over and a chappie did the same for me, at the top of the wall I tried to anchor myself whilst pulling another bloke up, it's the sort of event that brings out the best in people, teamwork, encouragement and co-operation all come naturally.

After landing a bit gingerly on the other side it began sinking in, I'd done it. 10 km and through many obstacles on a cold ridden body which was 2 stone underweight and vastly under-trained. I'd done this whole thing not for charity for once, just to prove to myself that I could do it and suddenly felt a wave of self respect that is more often than not lacking. Body and mind were in harmony for the entire 1 hour 9 minutes and 34 seconds it took me to get around. I'd psyched myself up to continue several times around the course and my body had responded. Every big Purple event I do seems to bring out different emotions from me and this was no different. Unlike the Bog snorkelling, I felt a much greater sense of achievement this time even though the Bog had taken more out of me. It proved that I guess I must be a lot fitter than I thought I was and that when it matters, and my body is anything less than flu ridden, the words printed in ink on my back are becoming more apt by the day.

Aside from the basic pictures I took with my camera, the others show the true story. The picture taken in front of my official time sums it up. Midway through Movember I am tache bound and looking ridiculous but good luck wiping the look of joy on face, and that was before I realised what time i'd done it in. I'd guessed 1 hour 20 something and was pretty stoked when I later found out it was an hour and 9 minutes. As well as trying to get a team together to have a nother punt at it next year, I've found another 3 events like it and in doing so have set the tone for next year's purple activities - endurance.

A huge thanks to everyone who supported me. The post race comments were all lovely but it was everyone during the event that made it. Without fail, every time I started walking there was a fellow competitor geeing me up and getting me back jogging. The Marshall's were also brilliant, high fiving everyone and keeping us moving. Big up to Men's Health magazine for organising it, the various sponsors for the stuff in my goodie bag and Tissot for making my dodgy picture possible ;)

Rossifer
x

Movember

After a fallow October month, November instantly offered the chance to add, in theory, two entries at the same time. By choice I've never grown a moustache as with my beloved beard it looked pretty bloody awful! The chance came to have another crack at doing so with 'Movember'. For those of you who don't know, Movember is men's answer to the race for life in that it's a gender specific chance to raise a lot of cash and awareness in Men's health issues, namely Prostate and Testicular cancers. The rules are that on the 1st day of November, all men taking part should be clean shaven and from that day forth should remain so except the top lip which is to be grown and nurtured with pride.

Doing this meant two things. Firstly it would be my first attempt at purposely growing a moustache and unfortunately meant i'd be losing my trademark beard after at least 6 years of having one. I little over two weeks i'd have swapped the Amish look for something rather dapper looking, the English gentleman look. Whether I ever attain that or simply look like a tall Ned Flanders remains to be seen. The proof will out on November 30th when my 'Mo' has been in residency for the full month and I decide whether to evict it, extent it's occupation on my face and whether to bring back an old friend to keep it company...

November 12th is survival of the fittest. As my cold is coming along nicely though and my voice sounds like a chain smoking dockworker from Southampton, I can't see me doing to well in it at the moment. If I can walk and breathe though come next Saturday, I'll be there. Time to end this year with a flurry ;)

Rossifer x

Catch up

For starters, a quick recap. October had not been the Purple fest I'd been both envisioning and looking forward to, but still offered a couple of gems. The main attraction was a Grand Prix in karting with a sadly lacking abundance of drivers from work. I'd been promised at least 8 people who had shown interest but it was only Neil Smith and his son who ended up donning their overalls. Apart from the odd dodgy kart and even dodgier tactics by a couple of mates on what sounded like their own purple book-esque month together, the day was a good one, ending in a classic final race which started sat on the grid with Fleetwood's Mac's famous tune 'The Chain' playing before the lights went green.

The little gem and true entry for October was the Conker tournament. Weirdly enough, for someone who loves Autumn as much as I do i've never taken on the season's famous past-time until the night I went with the two old ones and the crew from Denefield to a delightfully small and random pub in town for a conker tournament. 'The Retreat' is hidden away in a side street on Queens road and the back room was to be ours for the night. Hosted by the all entertaining Pip Shaw, the whole evening was delightfully chilled out. While the competitors were hard at it, the jukebox was playing some fantastic music and the whole evening just seemed so low key. I was half expecting Bob Dylan to come in at one point and play an unplugged gig it was that sort of atmosphere.

While me and mum crashed an burned in the first round, dad had his game face on and made it to the semi's (never one to be beaten easily that one.) So while it would go down as an epic experience like some of the others, it was still a new experience and one which was thoroughly enjoyed and so deserving of it's place in print on this here page.

Rossifer x

The colder months are starting to hot up...

• Drive Thru Movie

• Karting

• Go Ape

• Thorpe Park - Saw Ride

• Shark Diving (^^^)

• Survival of the Fittest

• GRIM

• Santa Run

• Panto

Rossifer x

Air Male

Far from being an entry in the good book, this is something I've been trying to nail for several years now. I can still remember the first time I managed to do a slam dunk in basketball. It was at my mate Robert's house, I had to run up the wall, it wasn't pretty but I managed it, and felt it. It's tricky putting it into words how beautiful that single moment in time felt. When you love a sport as much I did (and in a lot of ways still do) and see your heroes doing their moves on the telly, it means so much when you can perform if only a fraction of their brilliance yourself.

After getting back into basketball a few years ago and being able to dunk one handed OK-ish I knew what would be my next target, the two handed dunk. Playing on my local court with Kristof, a mate from work, I had no designs on anything more than the usual mucking around, doing shots from the middle of no where and putting up the odd prayer and hoping it went in. It's amazing though the confidence you feel when more of those sorts of shots go in. I think "Why not, let's try again". The thing about dunking is the very real potential of ending up in a heap on the floor. I'm no Harlem Globetrotter, despite my height bonus I've still got to get up there and back down again safely. As usual I started off without the ball. Touch the rim. Hang off the rim without the ball. Practice jumping with the ball. Run and jump with the ball. First attempt, hung onto the net but the ball missed (bugger!). Second attempt, same deal (damn!)... Fifth attempt. GOT IT, the ball went in but no hanging on the rim. Does that count? Sixth attempt. Same! Seventh attempt... like butter on hot sweetcorn, like a sailfish, like MJ and Dr Julius Erving and i'm back at Robert's house with my first dunk and there's no feeling like it. After swinging on the rim I eventually land and I'm stoked. Forgot bog snorkelling or walking over fire nothing will beat that moment this year. 10 minutes later I put the cherry on top with my first windmill dunk, an added bonus I'd been promising myself one day but nothing would beat the main course. On the afternoon of Thursday 8th September I touched the sky before nailing my first ever two handed slam. Poetry. Bring on the Alley Oop, I'm ready...

Rossifer x

'Au' gust - A golden month

The best month of the year, if only as in theory I need only set foot into the Prospect job for 2 out of the 31 days. I've ended up spending quite a few more hours there and at John Lewis but still managed to fit in plenty of fantastic days, each as good as the one before it.

Borough Market - London

For starters, a trip into foodie heaven courtesy of my culinary friend Abz. Borough Market is found near London Bridge, across the road and down the steps from the London Bridge Dungeons exhibition where you are greeted by a genuine 7 foot tall chappie who just so happens to have the same name as me. Small world...

Abi showed me the entrance to the market which had a few stalls and looked all well and good but the stalls just kept going, and going... I've never seen a market so big before offering so many different things. As well as Fruit and Veg stalls, butchers and fishmongers there were several cake, bread, cheese, sweet, cooking sauces, spice stalls, everything! Each stall also offered a

chance to taste their produce for free, everyone was welcoming and you never felt forced into

buying things, just to try new things. I soon found a couple of tea stalls where this one chappie

showed me how to make a perfect cup of Darjeeling tea. Apparently you shouldn't add boiling water as it damages the taste. Needless to say I came away with a few bags of the good stuff,

slowly losing track of how many different types I've got now... x

Birthday Scuba Diving - Farnborough

This doesn't count in theory as an entry in the PB as it was my 3rd time of doing it, but it did add to an overall excellent month so it's more than worth a mention. The diving was a joint present for me and Mum, done in August as Mum had a pretty epic start to the holidays. This was a test

to see if Mum would be able to do the basics in

preparation for what I hope we'll both be doing in November, the shark diving. We did the diving in Farnborough pool, a pool with a quirky feature of having the deep end slap bang in the middle with two shallow ends either side. Much as I remembered being nothing but awkward at scuba diving myself, the real challenge would be for Mum in two very different ways. For someone who struggles putting her face in the water in a swimming pool, the thought of complete submersion must have been daunting. Along with that was a rather neurotic fear of sharing the mouth piece of the diving gear (called the Regulator). The instructors were testing them all before we started and apparently, overcoming that little obstacle was her biggest achievement of the evening so fair play to her! :)

It's safe to say neither of us are natural divers. Part of what we had to do whilst underwater were a couple of tests, 2 involved taking the regulator out of our mouths then putting it back in

again. Using a variety of hand gestures the instructors showed us what to do then in turn got each of us to try it. I think Mum had already reached the boundaries of things she was going to conquer so was leaving that for another day, it wasn't as daunting as I thought it would be. The hardest bit was just moving about in a straight line and stopping myself from floating too high or sinking. The problem I found was with the diving gear itself. With all the various things hanging off of it you end up looking like an octopus. You have the 2 regulators on your right side and on the left side, a gauge for the gas tank and a thingy to put air in and out of the jacket. I wanted to be able to get good at using the flippers, knowing I'd be needing this knowledge in a few days time in Wales. Despite the flippers being the wrong size I just about got there in the end ;)

I knew I had to get Mum doing the basics before getting her in a tank of sharks, I hope the day made her 100% sure about either getting in with me this November or just coming along to take the pictures; not the best situation to be worrying about how much air is in your jacket when you're surrounded by Tiger Sharks... x

At it Hammer and Tongs - Blacksmithing in Dorset

The first entry of the month to get crossed of the

Purple Book was one I'd been looking forward to

for some time - Blacksmithing. Set in the same

place Mum did her Hazel Chair making a few months ago, this time all 3 of us would be having a go making something. Unlike before where there were quite a few people at the place doing a few courses, it would only be the 3 of us, the guy in overall charge of the place and Alex, the

Blacksmith himself who were there. We had no idea what sort of things we'd be making. The other 2 had fireside equipment in their minds, I had illusions of grandeur, coming away with a decorative Claymore or something. For starters though we were told we'd be making some nails. A few worried looks when Alex wasn't looking as I think we all thought nails weren't the most exciting sounding things to make but we were proven wrong. Unlike the nails you'd get at B&Q, these were the ye olde types that were used back in the day for hammering into huge solid doors. It was a bit like the Generation game, you get an expert in to do his thing, the end result looks great and easy to do, and then it's your turn...

I was up first. You start off with a long, thin cylindrical steel pole which you put into the forge, the fire used to heat the steel. As well as making sure the fire is heaped up correctly with coke (black coal like stuff, not the Pepsi kind) you have to check the colour of the steel to make sure it's the right

colour. When it gets orange it's out the fire, onto the anvil and on with the hammering. The trick is to first whack the pole to make it square before tapering the end to make a point. This takes several times in the fire and on the anvil until the point is made and the whole thing is straightened. After that you heat it orange for another time, whack it with the hammer over a chisel bit found on the anvil and then bend it so the nail bit is pointing at an angle. Back in the fire with the point pointing up out the fire and you get yourself ready with the vice, the next bit is all about speed. When the bent bit is bright orange it's the quick bit. In the vice point down with 1cm of the nail bit sticking up. Twist off the excess of the steel bar and you start hammering, it feels more frantic this time as you've pretty much got one chance to get this bit right. The hammering flattens the nail to make the head, the better you get at it the better it looks. After doing 3 of them we could all see an improvement in what we'd done, Alex was doing a great job of bigging us all up and finding our individual strengths ;)

Next followed the speed round where we were all timed to make a single nail. Amazing how much harder it seems when you know everyone is watching you! At the end, Mum ended up

with the quickest time but no head on her nail, Dad had the slowest time but the best looking nail and I reckon I had the best of both worlds, a decent time and a pretty decent looking nail to boot!

After that came the main event, we'd be making the fireside equipment of 2 pokers and a

decorative shovelling thingy. To say the bar was

raised was close, widened more like. I soon realised a career as a Blacksmith was not for me and the blisters and sheer lack of strength in my hands became apparent. The wider the metal you're using, the harder it is to hammer and shape it and I certainly found this. I didn't help that I'd left my steel in the fire for too long and it had burnt the end so I had to start again. Dad and I chose to make the same designed poker, one with a swan necked shepherd's crook on the end while Mum made a funky looking shovelling thingy with a leaf on the end. Mum ended up being the star student as she was the only one of us to make a second tool, this time a small letter opener with another leaf design on it. By this time though her hands were catching up with her as well so it turned into a team effort with Dad and Alex chipping in.

This will go down as another fantastic day which I thoroughly enjoyed but will most likely never take up again, due entirely to having completely the wrong build. Although Alex said

Blacksmithing is much more about technique than brute strength, the brute strength plays a huge part in it. As with all my entries I'd encourage anyone to give it a go as there is nothing like bringing home something beautiful looking which you yourself have made. My poker may not be perfect but I wouldn't change it for the world x

One Man and his Bog - Llanwrtyd Wells

August 28th saw the return of the wackier side of The Purple Book. It posed a challenge that when I heard it for the first time made my eyes light up at the sheer unadulterated stupidity and genius of it - Bog Snorkelling in the smallest town in Britain. Despite it's size, Llanwrtyd Wells has a reputation for holding a number of unique events such as Man vs Horse, the alternative games and of course, Bog Snorkelling. The Waen Rhydd bog consists of 3 bogs (trench full of thick brown water, reeds and water scorpions) 2 of which we were using and one, shaped differently to the others with a pole in the middle of a circle shaped bog, which is used for the mountain biking version.

Any questions as to why I would be taking part in something so insane left as soon as I was back in Wales. For some reason it feels like going home every time I visit, never thought I'd find anywhere I'd love more than London and Cumbria. After parking up and getting into my wetsuit in the back of Mavis, it was off to the Bog to see what I'd be letting myself in for. Considering I was down as number 44 and had only registered a few days previously there were quite a lot of people there. We were greeted by several people in fancy dress and snorkelling gear, one of which was a pretty brave bloke in a bright green mankini. My body is shocking enough as it is so be rest assured you wont find me in one of those unless it crops up in the PB...

I'd never kid myself into thinking I had any sort of real fitness level, so was starting to feel slightly shocked at these athletic looking people coming out of the bog after their swim looking completely spent. I remembered thinking though 'It's only 120 yards in total, how hard can this be..?'

Famous last words! For starters, let me talk you through the setup of the official World Bog Snorkelling Championships of which I would be taking part. Both Bogs are 60yards in length with a starting pole and a white pole at the end marking half distance. The aim is to get from one end to the other in the quickest possible time using only a scuba diving kick or doggy paddle stroke dressed in a snorkel, flippers, wetsuits for the less hardy and fancy dress for the exhibitionists. I jumped in the water when it

was my turn, starting to wander what I'd let myself in for, but still wondering what all the fuss was about. I'd seen a lot of people make a quick start then struggle later and I was about to find out why. I held onto the starting post ready, waited for the whistle then I was off. It felt as If I was swimming through treacle mixed with shredded wheat, I was already struggling at 20 yards. Halfway to the first post I had to rip off my flippers as I'd lost all feeling in my arms and would have sunk other wise, I then started walking to the white post. By the time I was near the 3/4 distance I was virtually crawling. I wanted to try and finish strongly but I could hardly move. The crowd could see I was struggling so I got a good cheer to the finish, I eventually got back to the start and collapsed on the platform, knackered.

I felt someone putting the medal around my neck which made me light up, but still I couldn't move. The two guys about to go after me were looking pretty nervous seeing me come out as I couldn't feel my thighs, was shivering pretty bad and had a pretty weird feeling in my throat like I'd been kicked by a deer. I got out and slumped in the chair Mum was using before for several minutes until I was able to feel my legs again. I looked down at the medal around my neck and just smiled, it had been well earned. Never had anything

taken so much out of me before, without doubt the hardest thing I've ever done in my life.

Not only were we in the presence of the World record holder that day, we were also there to witness a new one being broken. The previous record was broken 3 times on the day, once by the previous holder. The new record though now stands at a belting 1:24:22. I was more than happy with my 2:43:63 though, especially as someone took 5 minutes to complete it and several more failed to finish. A painful but fantastic day for an event I can now say I've been there, done that and got the medal, swimming cap and T-shirt x

Brighton

xxx Rossifer

King of the Swingers Rule

Proof that opening your mind and others to the joys of random was at show again in Bracknell, this time not on 2 wheels but up in the trees. If I hadn't applied those tickets for the Segwaying I may never have tried that or ended up with yet another stupid grin on my face at experiencing yet another fantastic new experience.

Much as I love them, most of my workmates hate the thought of anything more adventurous then ordering a new drink at the pub. True to form, only one brave soul and her boyfriend were up for the Go Ape. For the clueless, Go Ape is a high wire thing amongst the trees with 5 separate areas. Each area starts off with a dreaded rope ladder climb, ends in a zip wire to the bottom (the best bit) and a host of obstacles in between. Not being a huge fan of ladders full stop, climbing up one that was constantly moving wasn't what I'd call the highlight of the day! Further ahead was the first of 2 tarzan swings where you have to put your faith solely in your equipment for the first time. Rules are you've g

ot to be attached to something at all times to prevent you from falling. Sound advice I thought. I'm surprised the instructors don't have palpitations at times though as after the training section which is about 2 feet off the ground, you're on your own and plenty of people start off attaching and unattaching their carabines in all the wrong order.

After watching Abi and Sean the month before, I knew that kids in the group meant waiting so I got us to the front :) Going through the course it's amazing how your height and build come to your rescue at certain times and go against you in others. Early sections were designed for the vertically challenged methinks but no matter what you're build, the whole 2 - 3 hours worth involves one hell of a lot of bending, sliding and crouching.

For some reason the zipwire section is the least scariest proposition of the course and definitely the best bit. If you're facing the right way you've got a good chance of looking rather graceful when you land. Happily I was born awkward so took great pleasure in landing bum first and getting what seemed like half the forest's wood chippings in my shoes and down my trousers! Unfortunately Helen found the ladders bit even harder then I did and decided to bow out half way through. Although she put on a brave face and said she'd still enjoyed the day you could tell she was still gutted she couldn't get herself to finish the course. Bless her though, she got some great footage of me and her fella Owen coming down the zip wires.

The Prospect faithful assure me they'll be up for doing the Go Ape another day when they're free. I'll believe it when I see it but I'd definitely go again, this time with some sort of padded trousers methinks, those straps can half chafe in certain parts of the course...

Rossifer x

Brrrrrrrrrr!

Another entry that had to get crossed off eventually but needed the right conditions to do so, namely a hot muggy day. The sort of weather that has you fiddling with your collar when all you're doing is sitting down needs some drastic actions and what could be better than an ice bath. Designed for athletes to do something or other with the muscles, ice baths must have been invented by people suffering with severe cases of schadenfreude. As I remembered from the New Years Day swim, the discomfort you feel when the water touches your feet is only minor compared to what happens after that. There are few rude awakenings that can compete with the sensation of cold water above waist level, it's a shocker!

As with some of the other entries in the book I'm glad this one's over and done with. On the plus side, I'm claiming this as June's contribution to the year as the pledge was at least one 'cool' thing a month. I'm still trying to thaw out half an hour after doing it while everyone else is still hot and bothered so it's all good ;)

Rossifer x

4 weddings and a Christening

4th wedding of the year for me, this time with the actual 'wedding' bit thrown in and not just the reception. Just a quick entry in the book this one as not only was the day itself highly enjoyable, I hope it means a new and happier beginning to a family close to my heart, hears hoping Gary and Vicki's big day was the start of getting things back as they were.

I loved the crazy golf and the fireworks, a bit baffled by the sleepy butterflies and really loved the band. If I was to be married tomorrow I'd love them to be there:- http://www.famousfiveband.com/

Good luck to the future for Gary and Vicki, huge thanks for a cracking day. My 3 favourite pictures of the day below.

Rossifer x

For the Snark was a Boojum, you see.

An obscure title for what is turning out to be an equally questionable month. The only one of the year so far where I have had no health worries to stop me and yet nothing epic to cross off the list. 'One big thing a month' average over the year, that I'm sure is still very much on. For this month, at least, I'll have to settle for a few smaller entries.

By 11:59pm in a couple of weeks time I will have spent the month on a Segway (again), driving down to Dorset for some camping followed by a few hours on the Scout friendly 'Brownsea Island', a stones throw from the obscurely rich residents of 'Sandbanks' where relative remoteness can be yours for 7 digits or more. I'd have read a baffling book recommended to me on New Year's Eve and, in keeping with Lewis Carroll, been on the other side of the Looking Glass for a change where after another year spent invigilating exams I will be sitting my own 3 hour juncture in a couple of days time, weirdly enough in the same masonic lodge as the last exam I had. I always thought the OU had a touch of the Illuminati about it.

As the plug had been pulled for the dragonboat racing (still gutted about that) I'm having to swap my planned 'month off' from the Purple Book for this month. Happily in July I'll be returning to Bracknell, this time with my feet well and truly off the ground. It's Go Ape with Shaft and hopefully a few peeps from work. After watching Abz having a go it looks fun and more importantly doable. I've still got this fear of freezing as, to put it bluntly, if you get stuck you're on your own. There's not some chappie with a jetpack to come and save you.

I'm already restless for a new adventure. The sharks aren't until November, and Peru is still an age away. Everything else in-between sounds delightfully random but nowhere near as epic. I need a new bridge to find, an entry into the book so fantastic it will type itself once completed as I'll be too busy savouring the delights of it. Answers, as ever, on a postcard please :)

Rossifer x

Seg-May

For once fortune had smiled upon me. Instead of merely making my own luck, today's activity had been gifted to me thanks to an online competition by Reading 107. All you had to do was fill in your details and type in the squiggly code at the bottom of the page. Weirdly enough I thought I'd failed in doing this as each time it came up with an error message for me. I gave up but weeks later received an email saying I'd won 4 tickets to the Go Ape in Bracknell where I would be Segwaying with 3 of whoever I would choose to join me.

Or so I thought. Despite texting my friend Abi requesting her son's vital statistics, it turned out he was a stone too light to be allowed to ride a segway. We were left with the choice of us all waiting a few hours to do the actual Go Ape thing in the trees or Sean, Abi's son, would be left disappointed. Not liking the sound of either of those I came up with a compromise. Me and my wingman Craig would go segwaying and the other two would Go Ape, but with a less scarier wait of 2 hours as the 2:00 group had just enough space for them.

Segwaying ended up moving me in the same way Jet Skiing did which Craig introduced me to, only this activity would be much harder to get

to grips with early on. With just a basic knowledge of physics, the Segway looked completely daunting to me. Had Newton been standing next to me he'd have wagered me falling off after a second and would have been baffled upon losing the bet. The Segway is controlled by the movable handle you hold onto. Moving forward and backwards is as difficult and as easy as tilting forwards and backwards and the turns are performed by tilting, not turning the handle to either direction. The first 10 minutes feel very weird I must say. The training ground is an oval course with a short cut through the middle with a couple of humps, well worth going over as you'll be facing bigger tests later on. It doesn't matter what speed you're going, you will always make it over the hill, the Segway's are amazing things. No idea how they work but i'll leave that knowledge to the guy that created them.

After the training and the brief form our surfer looking dude we were allowed to go on the course proper with 3 different paths and a cheeky little skills section with some awkward turns and bumps. After a few laps of the easier tracks you can't wait to do the longer and more exciting one. The things can really shift, especially when your surfer dude trainer turns up the speed using the controller you have around your neck at all times. It looks like a stopwatch and works like a remote key for your car and I want one! Me and Craig were tempted to hijack a couple of the Segways to get home, I'd recommend anyone giving it a go. As long as you're heavy enough that is...

Grounded after the disappoint they wouldn't be riding, underweight Sean and mum Abi would soon be flying, if only temporarily via zip wire and red and blue carabiners. Part of the reason I was happy with the compromise made earlier is that I'm not the best with heights and would happily leave the Go Ape entry of the Purple Book for another day, especially now I know I could probably manage it after watching the others. After the briefing, and Sean's impeccable display of how NOT to connect safely at each point it was up in the trees they went. 5 sections, each with a rope ladder to climb at the start, a couple of obstacles in between and a zip wire finale. Sean managed to land safe enough each time but it was Abi who was providing me with ample material for you've been framed with some comedy slides and dismounts. Funniest moment had to be the swing to the net where Abi somehow managed to bounce off it and left hanging!

In some way I'll be breaking my own rules in the fact I'll be going back to Go Ape, sooner rather than later. I hope to do the actual Go Ape bit myself soon but I'll actually be doing the Segway again with Mum and anyone else who is interested. Days like today and a few weeks ago when I got my cousin Carol to book something she really fancied doing and just needed a little push to do so reminded me of one of the reasons the Purple Book has changed my life for the better. In doing all these random things and actively looking for new things to do, I am encouraging people to do the same. Instead of spending another weekend looking for things to do, my cousin would be stain glass windowing, my friend Abi and her son would be swinging and sliding through the trees and I would be racing around a forest floor with my mate Craig on another fantastic discovery - The Segway, May's entry into the one cool thing a month year of 2011 and a worthy entry into the good book.

Rossifer x

24 Hour Eat-athon

March had seen me well and truly catch up with my 'one cool thing a month' averages, now April brought with it a new challenge. Far from being a quiet month with plenty of cool things lined up and people to see, none of them were purple material and there was nothing lined up. Having lost all that weight several weeks ago and taking a long time putting it on I came up with an idea which would solve my weight problem and lack of April befuddlement - a 24 hour eat-athon.

I'd checked previously with my Kung Fu sifu that this was possible and asked if there were any reasons I really shouldn't doing it. After calling me nuts (as usual!) he said it would be more than possible and gave me some pointers. I was running out of free days in the holidays in which to do it so thought I'd spring it on myself the day before going down to Somerset with no real idea on what I'd be eating although i'd stocked up the day before and given myself a brief - eat something every hour, on the hour, for an entire 24 hour period.

4 O'Clock on a Tuesday morning when you don't need to be up is a rude awakening I can tell you! I got up a few minutes before 4 to make sure I was eating at 4 on the dot, I took a picture off me and the clock and posted it quickly after that to prove I wasn't cheating by doing it much later, I didn't have to pretend to be bewildered as it really did feel that weird. I made the mistake of blinking as 5, 6 and 7 O' Clock seem to come around very quick. By 9 O'Clock I'd become well and truly sick of the site of food and was pining for my bed. I'd planned to meet up with some workmates at 12 for lunch and was wondering how I'd manage any of it plus any more after that.

Expecting to feel truly wrecked at lunch, weirdly enough things started to become much easier. I'd brought an emergency banana as I knew I'd probably need something before getting back after we'd all finished, despite the fact I was now sick of the sight of bananas, this being the 3rd of the day. My love of food started kicking in and not only did I start eating more during the day, I started looking forward to the alarm going off every 3 minutes to the hour in case I forgot. I posted the updates every few hours, including the 9 O'Clock one as a special request from an antipodean mate of mine who wanted a 'proof of eating' pic. I got bored of the red clock pics as well so started using food and asking people for their watches to mix it up a tad ;)

Things started getting tricky again when we moved back into single figures for the time but I could see the end by then and had Jonathan Creek to keep me company. At that stage the 3 minute warning alarm started becoming annoying again as I was finding it more and more tempting to stop sitting on my futon and start sleeping on it. The 2nd Muller rice of the day was the last munch before sleep at 3:00am and then came the horrible wait for the last minutes of the hour before it would all be over. After quietly popping next door to put the final pictures off it was sleeping bliss, 4 hours before I'd be getting up to tell the Somerset lot all about it and meeting the two new additions to my legendary extended family. Lottie and Gracie Fear, the world welcomes you.

• 3 bowls of cereal
• 2 lots of grapes
• 2 lots of strawberries
• 2 biscuit dunking sessions
• Bacon and brie sarnie and chips
• 2 muller rices
• Pack of wotsits
• Cheese and ham slice
• Glass of ice cream
• 3 bananas
• Plate of ravioli
• Midnight crumpets
• 2 hot cross buns
• Kitkat.

Rossifer x

Let me stand next to your fire

Another leap into the unknown, the firewalk came quickly after the fantastic day in Worcestershire with the Scooby and the Aston. After the cancellation of the London one due to illness, the Southampton one because of over subscription and the Bridgewater one as it was on the day of my grading, I would be travelling down to Gosport, raising money for the KIDS charity which looks after disabled children. The organiser of the walk i'd missed a few weeks back gave a very generous offer of returning all the money I'd raised. I was tempted to take it and use it on a future one but it wasn't their fault I couldn't make it so I certainly wasn't going to take any money back from them.

With my borrowed sat nav in the car, despite leaving it a bit late, I was ready for the off. My

beloved Mavis now had a voice, but then started to get a wee bit confused. The estimated arrival time fluctuated from 6:30pm, to 7:00pm and then 6:45pm and decided to recalculate the journey during a key lane change which resulted in a few choice words which would have made a Tourettes sufferer blush. Despite the sat nav falling off the windscreen a few times (resulting in a few more words of wisdom), mavis got me down there, not helped by the venue being ridiculously hard to find. It would have been easier trying to find a vegan in a butchers.

Arriving just after 7 I had time to get the formalities over with as well as having a first look at the fire I'd be walking over. For the first time at that point I had a moment of clarity of what I was about to do. I have nothing but a healthy fear of fire and was trying to work out how the hell I was going to make it across this without getting any blisters. A mate at work had done it before and sworn she'd received no blisters but I was still dubious. 7:30 and we we're all called into the 'Firewalkers only' room. I loved that bit, I've got this thing about wanting to peep behind those doors with 'private' on them so I felt I was getting one over on the owners of those doors! The size and decor of the room made it look as if we were about to hold a seance. It was just big enough to seat the 15 of us doing it and the very confident without being cocky guy who would be showing us how to do it. I, along with half the people there I think, expected some sort of special technique which had to be learnt in order to accomplish such a feat and, well there wasn't. We had the history of the event, examples around the world and the basics on what not to do. From what he was telling us it seemed nothing more than taking a deep breath and going for it, and that's, what it turned out, was exactly what we did. As a 'test of faith', he asked a couple of people to break an arrow using only their necks and a wall. The pointed bit was placed on the wall and the other end on their oesophagus (gap in the middle of your neck). Through nothing more than moving forward, the arrow broke and the willing volunteers had a cool souvenir. The final word was, if you can do that, have no worries about walking across fire.

After the pow wow, the 16 of us went outside. The small collection of people outside had grown to a crowd of cheering people surrounding the cordoned off hot coals. It was a great feeling that bit, I'd brought no one with me to watch but at that bit, everyone was getting the cheers. Through to where the coals were it was socks and shoes off, trouser legs up. Scott, the twice world record holder for firewalking and the guy who had taught us was to go first to ease any tension any doubters among us may have had. To be fair though, the coals in front of us looked only a fraction as daunting as the flaming logs I'd seen an hour earlier. The temperature of the coals was measured - 590°C, damn near 6 times the boiling point of water. I won't elaborate too much but we'd been told the popular scientific theories about how walking on such a temperature was possible. Scott took a breath, and over he went, little bit of smoke coming from each footstep. I couldn't help thinking of when I went skydiving. I remember the moment when people started leaving the plane we were in. Half of me was in turmoil but the other half kicked in and just excepted it as normal as everyone else was doing and it was the same here. "A perfectly sane man has just walked over fire. Fair enough, my turn!". A few of the others followed with no drama and it was my turn. So I took my breath, and off I went. I got to end, had my little cheer from the crowd and wiped my feet as we were all told to do, and joined the queue to have another go. We all went again, and again and when asked if anyone wanted one final go I was the last over. Nothing, no hot feet, blisters, not even the uncomfortable feeling of walking on an uneven surface. Picture walking barefoot outside, you always manage to find that one blasted stone, right on the heel. Nope, nothing. Weirdly enough the warm sensation came when we were stood on the grass at the end being bigged up by Scott and receiving our certificates. Afterwards I sat down to reply to all the texts but was scanning my feet for... something, ANYTHING! They were filthy but they were also flawless. It was about then it started kicking in what i'd done. I had trouble expressing the joy at having done something so fantastic to a rather sleepy sounding Dad on the home phone but I left it a few moments to let it all sink in. I'd walked over fire and felt thoroughly fantastic for having done so. As with moments such as the sky dive and find the bridge I loved the way it made me feel straight after. This bit will sound corny so apologies but it did feel like a semi phoenix rising from the flames moment, mainly because of it's timing and the fact this was my 3rd attempt at trying to do it. After feeling so rough the previous month I was getting back to how things used to be, health and postimism returning as one.

1. Dream helicopter ride - Best day ever

2. The leap of faith - Best single moment in my life

3. Rossifer's big apple

4. Find the bridge

5. Jet skiing

6. Back on track - Aston day

7 & 8 Getting stoned on the longest day

9. Fire walking

10. Climbing Snowdon

I was shocked but pleasantly surprised the day after when ranking this among the other entries in the book over the last couple of years. An epic evening the night before had reached no higher than 9th on my list, proving the effect the book has had on my life. This list was the 10 most enjoyable and didn't even include the more random entries such as the compost mile and the long walk home. Plenty of things coming up to look forward to, who knows how high up the list they'll feature. Now then, what's next...? ;)

Rossifer x

Big thanks to Scott and Mrs Scott from UK Firewalking and the peeps from KIDS.