Updates

3 months into the new year, a few things crossed off the book, a few elcome additions and plenty more still to come. Pancake racing in Reading town centre on a damp day. Despite the MCs best efforts you could tell most of the crowd just weren't up for it and had found something only mildly more exciting than going into the Oracle. 4 people per team, 'walking' not running and 'flipping' not tossing the pancake. Time methinks that this once great country stops worrying about suing and upsetting itself and everyone else and gets back on track. Fingers crossed I can convince some guys and gals from Prosect to get a team together next year to give it a go :)
















Next onto York, home to the Yorvik Viking festival. The Yorvik centre was full booked, one year I may actually wake up and become organised but I can't see it happening anytime soon ;) What we did get to see though were the viking markets and the foreign markets selling food from a varitey of different countries. No chance of the Polish ever getting michelin stars methinks! Mine was OK but it was like something i'd knock up near the end of the month with wharever I could find. I couldn't walk away from a viking fait without buying something savage so luckily I found a funky sacrificial looking dagger. I felt a bit weird having the guy selling it to me in all the authentic looking viking gear using his phone as a credit card service. I think Erik the Red would be sickened up in Valhalla if he found out.






















Finally, all's ready for mine and dads semi epic race next Sunday. The Motor Neurone shirts are through and sponsorship is still coming. I thought 250 notes would be a good target but i've now raised this to 500 as several people have been fantastic in sponsoring and getting us to at least 220 pounds before any of the external or promised dosh comes in. Huge thanks to everyone who has and will end up sponsoring us, it's all going to the chairty who are helping out Al the Legend. Can't wait to do the run to see him there as that what's it all about. I may have no chance of running the whole thing or even half of it but i'll be crossing the line with the old git running with me no matter what i takes. I say 'semi' epic as it doesn't come close to what Al did a few months back. No idea what yet but i'm going to find something truly epic to try and match what he accomplished, away from anything else big when lots of people are after sponsors. In keeping with the spirit of the Purple Book i'm hoping whatever I come up with will be delightfully random and worthy of both an entry into the good book and the funds i'm hoping to raise for MNDA.

If you're going to be there at the race on Sunday look out for me, 10066, the tall skinny guy with his old man right at the back, cunningly power walking our way past the joggers ;) Wish us luck.

Rossifer x


www.justgiving.com/Rossifer


P.s. Yep that's Wales playing Ireland on the telly at Croke Park. Not your best game lads, pull your fingers out next week!

Snow, snow LOTS of snow

Fantastic start to the first full year of the Purple Book, more snow than i've ever seen in this country in my life. December's snow was great, January's is even better. With still no sledges and no sign of any coming in until next week it was a great time to cross another act of randomness off the list - Build an igloo!

Take your time if you're ever building one otherwise you'll be truly gutted when the bugger caves in on you. Use some chicken wire for the shell and a bit of wood at the back to build the thing around. Make it really wide and pack the stuff together, make sure the two sides in the middle are solid before putting the top on. Then if you're feeling fancy, stick a bit of carpet in it and a flagpole and take a picture of it for prosperity :)

January also saw a trip to Beaulieu which crossed Monorail off the the transport list but still no chance of riding a Penny Farthing. They had a couple there but no touching allowed :(

Great start to the year though, long may it continue :)

Rossifer x

Fun in the Snow

After the most boring month since the introduction of the Purple Book the snow was a seriously welcome addition to December. I still had pages of randomness to get through but it just didn't seem like the right time of year to do anything on the list. I was tempted to stick the trip to Lovely London and the fantastic London Eye but it was a repeat visit and so in violation of the good book! The snow closed school a day early, utterly fantastic but for the fact certain cards and presents had not been sent. I have never expereinced snow like this, never as thick as this or long lasting, usually 2 days at best and it has all but gone.

What to do with the best snow since I could walk and with no sledge? Both our reserve sledge and the best sledge ever made were destroyed in the Great fire of Back Garden thanks to a couple of little shites so that was out off the table. Because of that it was an old favourite, SNOWMEN :) After the old one insisted on a traditional shape with buttons, carrot and the like I just had to add a modern twist, all in the spirit of the good book ;) It was hastily added after completion, everyone has made a snowman in their life but few have created a snow lady ;) Larry the Snowman and Lizzie the Snowlady were born, cue Aled Jones...


Something that was added to the book back in July was the amusing yet deeply disturbing idea of a nude calendar starring yours truly. I now had my snowy scene so naturally out I went, complete with full length coat and slippers so as not to scare the neighbours. Luckily it wasn't as cold as I was dreading so I was only as pale as usual. Below is the shocking reality of what is usually covered up from the world. The second shot had a strategically placed present but unless you are an admirer of the disturbingly bizarre I'd stick to the marginally safer attempt below.
Tomorrow sees the second best day of the year, to everyone and anyone reading this I hope it's the best yet for you. A week after sees the start of a new year, a new start for everyone and the start of the first full year of the purple book. I look forward to events already marked in the Purple book that I missed last year such as Cheese Rolling on Biggins Hill on May 31st, but more importantly those occasions that catch you by surprise which you enjoy the most as they are the most random of them all. Merry Christmas y'all :)

Rossifer x

The Leap of Faith

Our second trip down to Norfolk, our original team of 6 Prospect Falcons was now down to 3. Gareth's mate had taken a reality check, Neil had been shafted by the doc and Gemma M couldn't make it so it was left to me, Gareth and Gemma F to bring it home. We made damn sure we weren't going to be disappointed again by checking the weather before we left.















My one twang of fear came a few tunrs before we drove in the airfield then it just seem to vanish. After the disappointment of last time we still weren't 100% sure we'd be able to jump so I think we all had the feeling that we just wanted to get it over and done with. It's weird how quickly everything moves once you get the OK. Due to the size of the plane and the number of people jumping they had to split the 3 of us into 2 groups. Me and Gemma went on the first load with the two guys we were jumping with, our camera chappies and some other guys jumping solo. Rather bizarrely I was given Dave, the shortest guy on the team and Gemma had the chappie who was telling us what postition to get into durtin the jump. I was more than happy with my chappie though, Danger Dave, a man of legend who over 30 years had made over 8000 jumps.
We all packed into this really small plane, 12 of us each sitting between each others legs. I was half expecting oops upside your head to start playing from the cockpit. The journey up took around 15 minutes, we could see the altometer on everyones arms going higher by the second as mine and Gemma's ears started to pop. We both looked at each oter nervously whilst posing for piccies for our two camera chappies. Our two strap on buddies were busy checking everythin and talking us through the instructions, lucky as with everything going on i'd kinda forgotten halfway through. Being as tall as I am Danger Dave told me to tuck my legs back as far as poss during the jump. I told him a white lie during the kitting up, if he asks again i'm still 6'4" not 6'6"!

Around 13,000ft the door opened and everyone started to get active. The solo guys stood up crouched, rocked back and forth then through themselves out without a second thought. Then Gemma's camera guy climbed out the plane ready and Gemma's wingman moved them into position. She did a pretty good job at being girly with plenty of squealing before, during and after she went out the door. I was half expecting to do the same but strangely came nothing close to feeling scared. The whole thing didn't feel real. Were it not for the pictures you see now I'd still be doubting it myself! I had all of my hanging out the plane. My legs were crossed and tucked under the place, arms folded tight holding onto the grips and then Dave yanked my head back and left towards Geoff, my camera guy who was now outside the plane. Then suddenly, we were out...

2 somersaults forward. or 1 or 3 I couldn't tell. I was stuck rigid in position then felt the first tap on my shoulder from Dave. Arms out, legs still in position for the best part of the whole jump, the freefall. Falling at around 130 miles an hour and I can't describe what i'm feeling. It's not fear as I don't feel frightened, it feels more like i'm in a bubble. I'm floating and the whole world is moving around me. I get a slight reality check when Geoff is hovering in front of me. I know the script, thumbs up and a nice cheesy grin for the camera. I wanted to shout in exhileration but I felt so peaceful (plus could hardly talk because of my cold) That I could only grin like I was relaxing on a beach more like plummiting 3 miles to earth. At that moment Dave pulled the cord and then reality when and truly burst my bubble. The blur I was looking at moments before was the ground coming towards us. The chute had opened and the reality of what I was doing started to sink in. I could see Gemma below who was calling back and I started shouting randomly as the rush started to sink in. Danger Dave gave us control of the chute for a couple of minutes, I gotta say I wasn't too fond of the bit where you pull oner of the cords down and start doing spiral type manouvers, that made me feel a bit squiff. He told me to pull me legs up as everyone seemed to be doing a bum sliding landing. Happily we seemd to be the only tandem jumpers who landed on our feet, as you can see with the piccy of me looking like a mannequinn with our man Gizmo pulling us in.

A huge thumbs up to Gareth and Gem for sharing and bearing witness, Geoff for taking the pictures and the legendary Danger Dave for landing me stylishly and safely :) Although the day I got to fly a helichopper is still top of the all time list, this has shot straight up to number 2 and is going to be pretty hard to beat. The whole thing was epic, I'd tell anyone who was even a fraction curious of giving it a go to do it. Go there with any inhibitions and the guys and girls there will quickly diminish them. The whole crew are so chilled out because it's what they do, just don't go watching any Hollyoaks or extreme sports gone wrong programmes before you do it though...

Rossifer x

The Long Walk Home

A half term week away from work is always very tempting when enjoying the art of random. The skydive is booked and ready for this Thursday (weather permitting!) so all that was left was to find something to do at the start of the week...

As an extension of the random events in the Purple Book I went one step further and created 'The Trials'. These would be challenges in the sense that they would challenge me in ways I would not normally be comfortable with. When writing events in the good book I would smile in the fact I knew I would enjoy doing the vast majority of them, the trials, however, would be a test, something I wouldn't enjoy but would look back on with a smile As I would have accomplished something epic. This week would see me take on number 6 on the list of Trials: - Do a marathon in a day - 26 miles on foot.

The challenge was set, first task was to finda location 26 miles from home so I could catch a train or a lift to said place then walk home. Thanks to a chance encounter where possible locations were discovered, I had a shortlist: - Oxford, Aylesbury, Hungerford, Windsor, Virginia Water and Alton. I went with Alton as it seemed the most random. on the planned day it also gave the promise of a famers market and a steam train service by the name of 'The Watercress Express'. This was turning into more than just the 26 mile walk I had originally thought up, as with most things if you seek a path of random you will experience so much more than you originally planned.

After a minor cockup with the trains I eventually got to Alton. Being a random challenge I of course left planning to the last minute. I had no idea how to get to Alton so went the scenic route from Reading to Guildford, then over to Woking then eventually to Alton. I'd planned to get to Alton early, have a look around the market, a quick look at the Watercress Express then the walk home before it got dark. What really happened is that I got to Alton, saw a really small man on the platform dressed as a Wizard and then just had to ride the Steam train. For all you train lovers out there, The Watercress Express is run on a line between Alton and Alresford with two stations in between. It is lovingly run by volunteers and has the comfiest train seats you'll ever sit in. It was also Wizards and Witches week which explained the hobbit in the Harry Potter gear.

I got off at Alresford, 10 miles from Alton and time was starting to move. I started the main part of the walk at 2:50 which is bad news if you doing it in the Autumn. I had no idea where i'd have to walk to reach 26 miles or where I'd get the train home. The 18 mile sign to Basingstoke was a good marker as I knew I could make up the rest of the mileage else were. I did 6 1/2 miles (1/4 of the planned distance) in about an hour, it was still light so naturally I thought it would be very easy...

From the bits I could see when it was light, the area around Alresford is a really nice place. There were some lovingly random momnets like the hidden gateway leading to a seat made out of a log looking over a lake and an old abandoned bus shelter. Loving the Love Shack :)

3 miles or so after the Love shack is when I had to grit my teeth and just go for it. It was getting dark quite quickly and I was starting to ache all over. The last thing you want to see at a time like this is a sign telling you you not as far along as you'd thought and hoped you were. 4 miles from Basingstoke it was pitch black, I was still on a long country road and I was out of it. At that moment, I had a text from the very person who had found me my starting location. It's moments like that that give you energy and keep you going and situations like that which test you and teach you things about yourself.

The rest of the journey after that was all about little victories. The sign for Basingstoke was a huge little victory for me as it kept me going until I reached the station. The station wasa good 2 miles walk from the sign at least so I'd consoled myself I'd walked at least 21 miles for the day. The highlight had to be seeing the magical red logo for the station. The two statues of the guys holding some sort of pole outside the station was a nice touch ;)

I felt slightly short changed by my distances so decided to walk home from Reading station. With everthing added up I'm hoping I did at least 24 miles overall. Not the 26 miles i'd originally hoped for but the fact I had a stking cold and had left everything way too late was consolation enough. Anyone reading this may question why i'd ever dream of doing something so pointless. I'd raised no money, broken no records and lost the feeling in just about every southerly joint becasue of it. The point of it is that there is no point. Everything I do in the Purple Book stems from a fascination of discovering new things. In that one day I had seen a very small man in a wizards outfit, travelled on a steam train, discovered the currency used in Swaziland thanks to getting a dodgy pound coin from the station machine (they be using the Lilangeni down in Swaziland) and more importantly discovered something about myself. With no training I had walked 24+ miles in a single day. The next time i'll be doing that will be in a decorative 34D bra in aid of Breast Cancer awareness May of next year. All in the act of random with the addedd bonus of raising some dosh for charideee. It's the jump tomorrow, wish me and the others luck :)

Rossifer

x

National Poetry Day - An ode to the good book

The Book of Random

Of randonmness and chance
Of rain in which i’ll dance
Of gaps which i’ll leap
Of 48 hours no sleep
A half and full blown Marathon
A custom made triathlon
On wheels and by hoof
With photos as proof
Of the challenges made
And results then displayed
If you’re eager to look
Merely consult the book
Not of Pink (which I loathe)
But of purple or mauve.

The Compost Mile

A completely baffling act of randomness, and all the better for it. Coming back from the garden centre the other day I

set myself a challenge - Would I be a) able and b) daft enough to lug a 50 litre bag of compost from A to B over the distance of a mile. If so I would give it a name, stick it in the Purple Book and set the guideline for all those who would attempt it in the future: -

'THE COMPOST MILE'

Rule 1. You must cover the distance of a mile on your feet.

Rule 2. You must be carrying a 50 litre bag of compost for every inch of this mile.

Rule 3. The mile must be on even ground (no hills).

Rule 4. You are allowed NO practise runs or training when attempting to set an official compost mile time.

Rule 5. You cannot be a specialist athlete if you are attempting to set an official compost mile time. (i.e. No showoffs allowed).

Time to beat is 12 minutes, 50.15 seconds to beat - Good luck :)