High Rollers

The slow start to this year well and truly ended today. This entry to the book brought with it many raised eyebrows - 'Ride on a roller-coaster'. In the years before the Purple Book i'd not only missed out on the things people wouldn't consider doing themselves, I'd also missed the ones everyone had already tried many times before. Upon hearing this my mate Kristof decided the way to break this duck was to visit the best place in Britain to get this done - Thorpe Park.

Travelling with a seasoned veteran, as always with all things Purple, I was more than looking forward to what was coming up. As with a couple of things in the book I didn't realise what I was getting myself into until I was right in the middle of it. If I'd reached terminal velocity on a skydive, what difference would a roller-coaster make?

Despite us visiting in the first week back into 2012 the crowds were no where near as big as I thought. After the up close and personal search for anything dodgy it was onto the first ride. "We'll go on something nice and easy to start off with" said Kris, slightly disappointed as i'd promised my first ride to be the most extreme but happy to go along. 'Nice and Easy' he said. 10 seconds into the 'Vortex' ride and I'm freaking out. If this is the hors d'oevres then what is the main course going to be like? Next stop Samurai, a personal favourite of Miss B at Prospect. Fearing the worst I had this weird feeling halfway through which felt strongly like 'enjoyment'! The last ride had messed me up and this ride was doign the same, but in a good way. Although slightly wobbly it was no time to hang around, time to get to the ride I wanted to do most of all - Stealth. This was the ride most people told me was the scariest they'd ever been on and ended up being the first actual roller-coaster i'd been on as the others were spinning things so didn't count. Kris went through the details; 0 - 80mph in less than 2 seconds. He didn't need to mention the huge curve up in the air bit, i'd already cursed a bit at the sight of it earlier...

You can't really prepare yourself for a ride like Stealth. To say it goes quick is like saying the guy off of Man vs Food has a decent appetite. I can honestly say I hated every second! The SPEED of that thing is off the chain, the bit that goes up and then quickly down felt like it had dislodged several vital organs and I couldn't stop shaking for 15 mins after. I'd went to X No Way Out after that (pretty lame in my opinion) and was still shaking from Stealth.

Everything felt better after that, no idea if I was just getting used to everything but I was genuinely loving every minute. The queue jumper tickets and luck with the queues brought along Saw, Nemesis Inferno and Colossus. Saw is themed on the Saw film series, the power of suggestion was a big plus as you couldn't help but remember shocking parts of the films while you were queuing. The famous Jigsaw puppet at the start warning you of what was to come and THAT bit when you go straight up before shooting down under the saw blades. Nemesis Inferno is my joint favourite, for some reason it was the one ride I loved every second off, my kind of scary whatever that means. Colossus had the 10 twists on it and seemed to get the biggest reaction from me at the end, apparently I swore more on that ride than any of the others...

A break for lunch before a first for me and Kris, the new Swarm ride. Themed on a national disaster, the ride was brand new and the first winged ride in Britain. This was the first time I could sense Kristof was feeling the same way I'd been all day, genuine excitement and anticipation at trying something new. From the outside Swarm looked brilliant. Live band playing, crashed aeroplane with the added bonus of actual planes flying over from Gatwick and a creepy guy dressed as a priest covered in scars. This was the only ride which had a Maximum height limit as well as a minimum. I was just over the height, half praying someone would stop me going and the other half secretly hoping i'd be allowed on. Past the first height guide OK, this would be the longest queue all day but still nowhere near as bad as I was dreading. The time was broken up by the odd group of kids bewildered by how tall I was and the sounds of those already on the ride. Eventually at the start of the queue I knew I'd be allowed to ride it. Kris at this point was at full tilt raring to go, he'd taken every other ride in his stride but had no idea what this ride had in store. Despite having my eyes closed for most of it, the bits I saw through my fingers were delightfully brutal. Several near misses, inverted angles at speed and my sort of scary (again whatever that means).

The day could only be rounded off by a good soaking. My wingman was dreading the Tidal Wave more than any other ride as it involved getting properly wet. No spinning around or gimmicks on this one, just a quick plunge into a huge pool of water, nothing was spared. The two drowned rats eventually made it back to the lockers and thankfully something new to wear. I'd crossed another biggie off the Purple Book, Ride a roller-coaster. Like so many entries there were moments of extreme pleasure mixed in with genuine dread at being there. As usual though it had been another epic Purple day out which I wouldn't swap for anything.

Rossifer x

Fav in order: -

1. Nemesis Inferno

2. Swarm

3. Saw

4. Colossus

5. Tidal Wave

6. Samurai

7. Stealth

8. Vortex

9. X No Way Out