Monday, June 21, 2010

Getting stoned on the longest day

I can safely say i've had my fill of stone for what has resulted in an epic weekend which would have rivalled the search for bridge in scale and sheer randomness had it come sooner. Not only has it ticked off 3 entries from the good book it has delighted in exceeding my expectations for 2 of the 3 activites.


First off after the Friday shambles which was the 11 blokes in white against Algeria in football was dry stone walling. A fathers day present from me and the other old one, this was our chance to continue to show dad there is more to life than football and ceefax. In a way, Rooney and the rest of the shower had done us a favour, football was well and truly swept aside for the weekend. Destination Nailsea near Bristol, a droplet in the ocean of a place, home to what seemed a solitary set of traffic lights, 2 golf courses and a resteraunt with a waiting list the Ivy would be envious of. Team J eventually found our camp site, a setting i'm quite convinced dad is more than happy in being in aside from the morning chill that seems to hit whatever the season. Tents up, and 2nd destination found without the inevitable rowing, always a bonus. The place wass gloriously spartan, the portaloo or hole in the ground was accessible via the nettles. After a brew it was off to the walling site via the field of cranky looking cows. Stupidly I was expecting a pile of nicely stacked stones and a glorified jigsaw puzzle, what I had was a demolished wall covered in posts that needed to come out and burried stones that didn't want to be. What we had signed up for was 2 days hard labour. What we ended up with was a thing of beauty. The details and terminology are boring to even the most avid of readers but in short we shifted a hell of a lot of stone and earth and ended up with a beautifully solid dry stone wall. New entry to the Purple Book is coming back in the future to see if my wall is still up and looking fancy.

Due to Team J and our 2 team mates helping everyone finish early, dad put the hammer down to get us all home quickly, mainly so that I could face part 2 of the merriment; Summer Solstice at Stonehenge. Pushing aside my body willing me to forego the trip to the henge in favour of the sofa, I went from camping mode to lone survival packing. The official brief was this; no camping, no sleeping bags, not much alcohol and no stereo music. Thinking back to Snowdon I wore enough not to sweat buckets yet take enough not to freeze at the limit. The balancing act of endulging in the purple book is favouring an events novelty over hindsight and being prepared. I will most likely never dry stone wall again and will only return to stone henge in order to share it with others. The drive to the henge was easy for all buit the last predictable few minutes. To aid a quick getaway, I chose to park in a layby just up from the car park. More on that later... The endless rows of people flocked to the stones, only stopping for the security post. All aerosols, weed, hard drugs and bottles were apparently seized so who knows how so much of it was smuggled in past the friendly drug dogs and stewards with rubber gloves. If you ever plan on making the trip yourself, expect to be asked several times if you've got any tobacco, weed or acid for sale. Either that or i've just got one of those faces.

After checking out the druids around a huge statue who were chanting and preaching, the obvious place to go was the stones, right up close and personal. Believe what you like about paganism, there is definitely an energy around those stones. I had not felt such an energy since the school history trip to Dachau only this was all good energy. After having sat on one of the stones for a while, the sound of music (and a numb ar$e) coaxed me away from the middle of the stones. A group of stalwart druids with drums, horns and conches were playing and slowly drawing in a bigger crowd. By nightfall they had formed their own festival group as everyone was joining in making any noise they could. It was claustrophobic but it was infectious. If only photos and video could some up the atmosphere, definetly the highlight of the year. The final couple of hours was merely survival until the solstice itself began. When you're not huddled in a group around druids with drums in the early hours you get cold very quick. Luckily banter came to the rescue with single mother of 3 Helen and Kev the chef from North Devon. I'm still amazed at Helen for keeping a stright face while another woman started talking to her about 'the sky people'. If you want epic looking pictures of the event, i'm afraid the Fujifilm couldn't do it justice. Saying that, even the blokes with their canons and tripods would have trouble summing up what it was like to be there with just a collection of pictures. Some places and some events just have to be absorbed as nothing else will allow you to experience the atmosphere. There's just something about getting that close to the mystical stones that people still aren't quite sure what they're there for. My advice to anyone looking to do the summer solstice themselves is this; wear something fit for the occasion. The more Woodstockish the better. Take an instrument such as a drum or bells with you, find a group and join in playing, the crowd will love you for it. Take a shed load of layered clothing and something waterproof to sit / lie on, you WILL need them. Finally go there with no inhibitions or expectations and you will enjoy it immensely. Just make sure you park in the car park and not a lay by down the road otherwise you will be faced with a 10 mile hile to Salisbury and a 150 quid burden in order to release your wheels. An unfortunately sour end to a perfectly sweet and unmistakable weekend.










Rossifer x









Saturday, June 5, 2010

Find the Bridge - Failure :(

Never has an entry in the Purple book filled me with such varying emotions as that of the one marking the book's first anniversary. The task of finding the bridge was as lovingly random as pretty much every other entry but, like most of the big entries, required an awful lot of planning.

I first saw the picture of the bridge in a small touristy mag at work. The bridge itself was unimpressive which made the view behind it look even more spectacular. The only words as to its location on the page were 'Lake District (stock photo).' Guessing stock photo wasn't a name of a region in the lakes I added my own words to the page - Find the bridge. It was close between the bridge seeking and the 75 mile canal walk from Bath to Reading for what would be used to celebrate the anniversary of the book, while the latter still sounds big and will definitely be attempted in the near future, the idea of the bridge sounded like a much bigger step up. The more I looked into it, the bigger it started to become. The Beautiful Lake District covers 885 square miles and has 800 bridges to choose from. First realising how close to the border the lakes are, then the number of bridges I was starting to panic. After some frantic online searching I found what most closely resembled my bridge in an area called Styhead Gill, around 1 1/2 miles away from Scafell Pike, the highest mountain in England (and also in the book for things to see and do). Thinking I could kill two birds with one stone I started to get quietly confident.

They say travel is all part of the experience but the vast majority of this was done on the 3 trains that got me there. No major incidents aside from the 2 god botherers I was stuck with, one of which looked like the soothsayer off Carry on Cleo. The only thing of interest was the discussion I overheard by two blokes about some guy who had lost it and shot 5 people somewhere in the Lakes...

The train finally gets into Windermere, i'm already fed up of carrying the beast, the new 65 litre backpack I got as my old trusty one wasn't up to the job. After a couple of days it feels like part of you but until that time your shoulders despise you for it. First stop was naturally England's biggest and most famous lake (which for all you fact finders is just called Windermere, not Lake Windermere. Only one of the lakes actually has 'lake' in the name. Boring but true ;) ) I got into a rowing boat and awkwardly made my way out for a row. Think Peter crouch attempting ballroom dancing awkward and you'll get the picture. It didn't help that I had to row the wrong way around because it was only me in the boat. So beautiful though, i'd fallen in love with England again, this place was pushing South Wales for looks. The rest of the evening was spent looking for a place to camp. It was going to be on Windermere lake's edge until I realised I still had a long way to eventually travel. It was at this stage I started getting texts from various people about the shootings I'd heard mentioned earlier. Turns out some nutjob had shot several people and then himself and not a million miles away from where I was. Funnily enough i'd also heard of 4 people getting struck by lightning up in the lakes a week before. Think I must be some sort of dreaded omen, beware the curse of Rossifer wherever he travels...

On the way to Ambleside every bit of greenery had one of the dreaded signs, either Private land, No Camping or the dreaded National Trust sign. Eventually I see a field by a hotelwith none of the 3 signs. After scaling the wall I find a place that's also nicely hidden by the trees in case of any nosy parkers on the street. It all seemed perfect until a certain barking deer came along which just wouldn't bugger off. It was bad enough hearing him in the day time without having what sounded like the hound of the baskervilles in deer form at 3 in the morning. Still all went well including the tinned tuna and Vimto for tea and Nutri grains for breakfast.

Day 2 was hard, i'd never felt so physically tired since walking the north coast of Jersey and never for such a prolonged period of time. After seeing the classy looking bridge house at Ambleside I headed to Rydal then Grasmere. At this stage I was still optimistic of reaching the bridge and maybe even getting close to Scafell Pike, England's highest peak. After seeing the welcome sight of both a hot lunch and a cuppa in Grasmere I set off for Langdale Beck, a guarenteed walking route close to where I wanted to go. Despite my (quite honestly crap) map showing me the route looked easy enough it was harsh to say the least. That was until I got to Rossett Gill. I think evil just about covers it; uneven ground, hot temperature, beast still on my back and a bloody big slope that didn't seem to end. Luckily I had the first of many chance encounters with helpful people. The first with the friendly foreign dork pointed out I was no where near where I thought I was (crap map). After semi smugly getting out his proper OS map he proceeded to point towards the path I needed to take to go where I wanted to end up. The second encouter was with the middle aged woman who found me my 2nd camping spot. "Oh I bet you're going to Angle Tarn with the other bloke" she said. I was now. After much cursing and soul searching I get to the top of the hateful Rossett Pike and spot the gorgeous aforementioned tarn, a small lake with the said bloke and his son pitched over the back. It seemed he had picked the perfect spot as where he had sheltered silence, I had a blustery awkward spot complete with northern twats who wouldn't bugger off for an hour. Barking deer one minute, then this ;)

To be fair though they were the only twats I came across as northern people are on the whole impossibly friendly. Especially the guy who I met near the end of day 3 in the Walkers bar of a hotel. I must have looked a right satte walking in and as I ordered so much to eat he kinda felt sorry for me I guess and gave me what he called a brick, basically a wedge of energy and yum wrapped in clingfilm.

The plans for day 3 though changed constantly throughout the day. Despite feeling broken after the day before I woke up as good as can be expected. The plan was to leave the tent for now, find the bridge, get supplies, which were running dangerously low, from the village of Seathwaite then back to the tent and see what happened then. I kinda went pear shaped shortly after as becuase of my crap map and inept map / compass skills I had no idea where I was or where the bridge was. In another choice encounter I met up with a cockney geezer and his family looking for Scafell Pike. He had a book that looked like it was written and hand sketched by a legendary british explorer, I half expected the legendary Ranulph Fiennes to have done it. He showed me where he thought my bridge was which rather worryingly was the path I had just walked from. At this stage i've resigned myself to the fact i'm not going to find the bridge this time and went into pure survival mode. I wouldn't say I was panickingbut i had only 1/4 bottle of water on me and 7 oat cookies left back in the tent and had had no phone reception for the last 20 hours.

After getting back to the tent I was in getting home mode by any means necessary. Rather prematurely i'd reached that stage in your holiday where all sight seeing had been done and all you can think about is home but had missed the sole reason for coming on the trip. This desire to get home made the beast feel less cumbersome than usual unless I had started to get the hang of it. Despite Rossett Gill being as treacherous as ever it felt much easier that it did the day before. I even managed to take a wrong turn going on the same path i'd walked previously but this ended up working in my favour. not only did I find the walker's pub with the friendly guy with the brick but i'd found me a bus stop! :) I'd never felt so happy to be on public transport, the bus to Ambleside didn't hang about and then the next one to Windermere was close behind, I was going home.

I never dwell on the bad so i'll get them out the way first; most of my body ached for pretty much the whole time since I started walking with the beast in Windermere to getting home a couple of days later. Also, none of that would have mattered if i'd have found the bridge, which I didn't and am truly gutted I failed to make it having come so close. Looking back though, it was a fantastic trip with so much to take away from it. Yes I was hopelessly unprepared but i'd managed to spend 2 nights out in the wilderness and see some truly outstanding sights as well as those quirky little memories that pictures never capture; the barking deer, the woman howling with her dogs, the red ant attack in Rydal, the sheer delight of a plate of hot food at the Potting Shed cafe & the bloke with the brick at the Walkers bar.

Although I know where I need to go to find what i'm pretty sure is my bridge, i'll still need to do a whole lot more planning next time to do that and hopefully scale Scafell Pike. If i'm looking to take the beast again I can't go back there weighing less than 11 stone, I dread to think what I weigh now! I'll need a poser's map and half an idea on how to use it and may just have to cheat and find the easiest possible route to get to Styhead Gill. To be extra vigilant I might even bring along a group of gurkhas and a mule. On the whole a double edged sword of an experience but one worthy enough to honour the first anniversary of my Purple Book.

Rossifer x



















Big thanks to the oldies, Edna and Pickle who called and texted while I was out, keeping me amused and informed of the rampaging gunman! Special mention to my favourite godparents who are not only the only 2 of the 7 that ever gave a damn but continue to stay interested, if you're reading this I made it made minus any bullet holes :) Also to Lula who had an impeccable knack of texting just at the right time when things weren't going great, you'll probably never know how much the messages helped. x